Dear
Present Truth Magazine Subscriber:
We
are glad to have you as a subscriber to our Present Truth Magazine. Below
you will find articles from individual authors who have written for our
magazine. Our prayer for all who
receive read these articles is that the Lord "...may give to you the
Spirit of wisdom and revelation in the
knowledge of Him, the eyes of your understanding being enlightened; that you may
know what is the hope of His calling, and what are the riches of the glory of
His inheritance in the saints” (Ephesians 1:17-18).
Kingdom
Living by Sowing and Reaping
by A. Wilson Phillips
When Jesus Christ of Nazareth
began His adult ministry after His anointing for service, He began to
teach the spiritual laws (principles) of the kingdom of God.
In the agricultural community
of ancient Palestine (modern Israel), Jesus taught the principles of
sowing and reaping that would give humanity of all ages an
understanding of how the universe operates. He simply said,
Give, and it
will be given to you...And just as you want men to do to you, you also do
to them likewise (Luke 6:38, 31).
Jesus was showing people of all
cultures and societies the pathway of life in the presence of the Creator,
in which they could experience the fullness of joy and pleasures forever
(Ps. 16:11).
The principles of the kingdom
of God, in the wise counsel of Jesus’ heavenly Father, were communicated
in simple terms that the least educated and the most educated could
understand. Humankind learns in the natural realm then moves to the
spiritual realm. We learn that the invisible realm holds sway over
the visible realm.
By faith we
understand that the worlds were framed (set in order) by the
word of God, so that the things which are seen were not made of
things which are visible (Heb. 11:3).
We begin to see in the kingdom
that: spirit controls matter; lesser authority yields to greater
authority; the mind is the ultimate conduit of the spirit; and speech is
the intermediate conduit between spirit and matter. God’s power is
released through the spoken word of God (John 6:63).
Jesus demonstrated the
principles of the kingdom by the spoken word of faith. He spoke to
demons, and they obeyed His voice. He spoke to sickness, and it left sick
bodies. He spoke to the boisterous wind, and it became calm. He spoke to a
fig tree, and it dried up at its roots. Jesus, as the Son of Man, always
operated at the highest level of faith by fully trusting in the Word (Rhema)
of God (Matt. 4:4).
Jesus trained His disciples by
speaking words (seeds) into their hearts. He explained to His disciples
that it had been given to them to know the mysteries of the kingdom (Matt.
13:11). He then proceeded to tell them the parable of the sower. He said
some seed fell on stony ground, some on thorny ground, and some on good
ground. Those with honest and good hearts were those with good ground.
They were hundredfold producers (Luke 8:8, 15).
Today—
...the eyes of
the Lord run to and fro
throughout the whole earth, to show Himself strong on behalf of those
whose heart is loyal to Him (2 Chr. 16:9).
Hundredfold, kingdom producers
are rare in our postmodern, political American Christianity. However, with
the aid of modern technology, words of spirit and life are being declared,
and Father God’s kingdom is still expanding throughout planet earth.
God has set a great open door
before us. No man can close it. Here at Abundant Life Covenant Church, we
believe God’s Word will prevail over man’s word.
Do not be
deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also
reap. For he who sows to his flesh (natural man) will of the flesh
reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap
everlasting (resurrection) life (Gal. 6:7-8).
What we sow in this life, we
will reap both in the physical realm and in the spiritual realm. The
key for all
of us is not to sow anything that we do not want to reap. God has a
due season for all the seeds we plant.
I believe the best is yet to
come in this life and the life after we transition into our glorified
(spiritual) bodies.
A. Wilson Phillips is the co-founding and senior
pastor of Abundant Life Covenant
Church.
Every Thought
Captive
By Richard K. Clark
For the weapons
of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down
strongholds, casting down arguments (imaginations) and every high
thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every
thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ (2 Cor.
10:4-5).
For those of us in Christ, one
of our most important assignments is to control our thought life. Sin and
death disabled us from thinking like God; therefore, we must go through
the daily practice of renewing our minds to His Holy Word and will (Rom.
12:1-2). The imagination left to its own devices will lead to destruction
(Rom. 8:6). Conversely, the mind that is focused on God will function at
its best in His life and peace.
You will keep him in perfect peace,
Whose mind is stayed on You,
Because he trusts in You (Is. 26:3).
In this verse the word
translated as “mind” is “yester,” and it can mean
“creative imagination.” God made man in His image and likeness,
therefore man has the capacity to partner with the Lord’s creative
imagination—man has the same creative imagination that formed this
universe and continues to sustain it. We must be aligned to God’s thoughts
(Word) in order to function with His power and wisdom. This is more than
just a fleshly mind-control tactic; it is the Word of God becoming flesh
in us. We are being transformed into His image and likeness as we meditate
on, speak, and do His living Word.
Many Christians do not believe
that they can control their thoughts. A word, memory, emotion, or even a
smell can send our minds into a cascading chaos. Our emotions and
unconscious programming are often our greatest enemies. This is the reason
that Paul said that his weapons were not fleshly, but mighty in God to
pull down the strongholds and imaginations that have so long held us in
bondage. In fact, he said that anything that exalts itself against the
knowledge of Christ must be purged from our minds. We have the power
through Christ to take every thought captive—and so we must!
As we think and speak the
thoughts of God, we promote health in the entirety of our being—spirit,
mind, emotions, and body.
Pleasant words are like a honeycomb,
Sweetness to the soul and health to the bones (Prov. 16:24).
Death and life are in the power of the tongue,
And those who love it will eat its fruit (Prov. 18:21).
As we let the Word of God dwell
in us richly, we can speak life (fruit) right into
the hearts of others.
It is the
Spirit who gives life; the flesh profits nothing. The words that I speak
to you are spirit, and they are life... If you abide in Me, and My words
abide in you, you will ask what you desire, and it shall be done for you.
By this My Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit; so you will be
My disciples... Let the
word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom, teaching and admonishing
one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in
your hearts to the Lord (John 6:63, 15:7-8; Col. 3:16).
Richard K. Clark is an associate pastor of Abundant Life Covenant Church.
Seed
or seed(s)?
By Benjamin Davis
Scripture clearly proclaims
that sin entered the human race in the Garden of Eden when Adam chose to
disobey the Creator’s voice (Gen. 3:1-24; Rom. 5:12). From that time,
God prophetically proclaimed that there would be a Seed who would come
and solve the sin problem. This Seed would restore humanity to a right (sonship)
relationship with God as Father. That Seed was Christ.
The promise of the Seed begins
in Genesis 3:15:
And I will put enmity
Between you (the serpent) and the woman,
And between your seed and her Seed (Christ);
He (Christ) shall bruise your head,
And you (serpent) shall bruise His heel.
In the original language of
Hebrew, there is no concept of capital and small letters. However, in the
English, proper names are capitalized for respect. The New King James
Version Bible capitalizes nouns and pronouns that the translators
thought referred to Christ. Many versions (such as the New
International Version) do not. Capitalizing references to Christ can
be a great help to the modern reader in understanding terminology. For
example, seeing the capitalization of “Seed” in Genesis 3:15 helps the
reader to understand that “Seed” refers to Christ.
Problems can arise when trying
to rightly determine when to capitalize and when not to capitalize. In
Genesis 22 we see the promise of the Seed reiterated to Abraham:
…blessing I
will bless you, and multiplying I will multiply your descendants as
the stars of the heaven and as the sand which is on the seashore; and your
descendants shall possess the gate of their enemies. In your
seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have
obeyed My voice (Gen. 22:17-18).
Here the promise of the Seed is
translated “descendants” and “seed.” Translators chose not
to capitalize these references because they assumed they were referring to
natural descendants of Abraham, i.e. the Jews. However, in the New
Testament, Paul clearly shows his view of the Genesis 22 promise when he
writes about it:
Now to Abraham
and his Seed were the promises made. He does not say, “And to
seeds,” as of many, but as of one, “And to your Seed,” who is
Christ (Gal. 3:16).
Because Paul is clearly
referring to the promised Seed as Christ, the translators chose to
capitalize it in the Galatian passage. This capitalization can be a little
confusing if it is compared to the Genesis passage to which Paul
refers—where the translators chose not to capitalize the reference to the
promised Seed.
Understanding what biblical
promises refer to is still a major problem in modern Christianity. Paul’s
exhortation to Timothy is applicable to us today:
Be diligent to
present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be
ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth (2 Tim. 2:15).
In order to “rightly divide the
word of truth” today, we must view all Old Testament promises through New
Testament lenses. Paul’s apostolic doctrine clearly proclaimed Christ as
the promised Seed and the church as Abraham’s descendants (Gal. 3:7, 16).
Therefore, when we read God’s promise to Abraham, we can know without a
doubt that it is fulfilled in Christ and His church rather than a
political nation of Israel.
Understanding apostolic
doctrine brings us the confidence Paul had about Old and New Testament
promises:
For all the
promises of God in Him (Christ) are Yes, and
in Him Amen, to the glory of God through us (2 Cor. 1:20).
When translators and teachers
today go against New Testament apostolic
doctrine to proclaim that Old
Testament promises are referring to the current state of Israel, they
grieve the Holy Spirit’s work in the church (Eph. 4:30). The Holy Spirit
was given to the church to guide her into all truth (John 16:13). He is
faithful to take the promises of Scripture and make them real to us so
that we can have overcoming lifestyles
in the 21st century. Abraham’s promised Seed is fulfilled in
Christ and His church. As the gospel is preached through the church,
Abraham’s descendants continue to increase as the stars in the sky and the
sand on the seashore.
Benjamin Davis is an associate pastor of Abundant Life Covenant Church
Gracious Living
by Jonathan Clark
And the Word
became flesh and dwelt among us…full of grace and truth… (John 1:14).
We teach what we believe, but
we reproduce what we are. This being so, I recently had my children look
up the word “gracious” in the dictionary, for it seems as though we have a
real need of more graciousness around our house (myself included). I had
them tell me all the synonyms of “gracious,” and they found such words and
phrases as: courteous, kind, having good taste, cordial, tactful,
delicate, charming, having a generous spirit, sociable, warmly
approachable, affable.
The more I pondered the meaning
of graciousness, I decided to also add to the definition such things as
politeness, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, gratefulness, selflessness, good
manners, pleasantness of words…the list could go on. Images conjure up in
my mind of traditional southern hospitality or of the best of Victorian
English behavior.
“Grace” theologically means to
give an individual something good that they don’t deserve. And yet, when
culturally used, “gracious” or “graciousness” embodies a warmly hospitable
person exhibiting style and class, lacking in rudeness.
And of His
fullness we have all received, and grace for grace (John 1:16).
Because of the grace of Jesus
Christ, we have all received a gracious nature.
For the law
came through Moses, but grace and truth came through Jesus Christ
(John 1:17).
According to John 1:14-17, it
was imperative for Jesus to grow not only in truth but also in
graciousness. As He is our pattern, it is necessary for us to do the same
if we are to live successful and joyous lives. Gracious attributes are
amazingly similar to the “fruits” of a spirit-filled, spirit-led life.
Over time, growth
in graciousness and truth produces integrity and proven
character. Truly gracious behavior will mold our children and affect the
world around us.
My
confession is now “I thank you, Father, that you have filled me with Jesus
Christ, and You are causing me to grow in His truth and graciousness.”
So all bore
witness to Him (Jesus), and marveled at the gracious words which
proceeded out of His mouth…(Luke 4:22).
Jonathan Clark is an elder of Abundant Life Covenant Church and a physician in
Springfield, Missouri.
The
Highest Form of Healing
By Chris Wood
A little over 14 years ago, I found out I was going
to be a dad and was thrilled and petrified at the same time. I had made
the commitment before I was married that I would be there for my wife and
children, but I was frightened because I wasn’t sure how to be a dad.
Father God mercifully gave me a word that brought peace to my heart.
And he will turn the hearts of the fathers to the children,
And the hearts of the children to their fathers (Mal. 4:6).
I knew at that point that God was going to develop a
relationship between my children, Him, and me that would forever bind us
together. This revelation brought great comfort to me concerning my own
children, but I honestly didn’t see how God was going to draw my heart to
my father’s heart.
Over the years I had a strained relationship with my
dad, at best. He left my mom when I was three to start a new family.
Taking this very personally, I dealt with years of bitterness, resentment,
and emotional anguish. I would see my dad a couple times a year, at which
time he would try to fix me or fashion my future the way he saw best. The
problem was he didn’t have a relationship with me—partly because I would
shut down emotionally toward him, and partly because he never took the
time to get to know me. I deeply desired a relationship with him and
thought his approval would solve all of the problems in my life. This
pattern of behavior continued even into my adult years.
Seven years ago, Dad helped me start a graphic
design business. A year later, I started designing for his company. The
next few years seemed like hell. I started sacrificing my time with my
family, church, and friends to make sure that his company’s deadlines were
met, no matter how ridiculous a timeframe I was given. I was miserable,
and worst of all I felt like I was missing out on my kids growing up.
In June 2004 Dad was diagnosed with colon cancer.
The Lord began to speak to me: “The days fashioned for me, when as yet
there were none of them” (Ps. 139:16b). I knew that Dad could not live
longer than God intended or die before God’s purposes were fulfilled. God
also reminded me that He heals instantly, progressively, and ultimately,
and that the highest form of healing is in relationships. This was a
comfort to me, and I shared this word with my brothers and sisters.
The next month we found out that Dad’s cancer had
spread to his liver and pelvis. This news was hard to take, but I shared
with my family how Dad had told me the week before that he had had a good
life and was very proud of his children.
The next couple of months Dad had some close calls
with high blood pressure, weight loss, high fevers, and two pulmonary
emboli. Through all of these situations, I spoke truth and comfort to my
dad and family. However, my business relationship with him was still
strained, and we had never really dealt with the root of our problems.
In October 2004, everything came full circle. I went
to a banquet for Dad’s company, and he meticulously thanked everyone in
some way, except for me. All of the hard work and sacrifice I had given
him didn’t even get a “thank you.” I was deeply hurt and realized I was
still seeking his approval. Fortunately, this act pushed me closer to my
heavenly Father, and He reminded me that I did please Him.
...He chose us
in Him...that we should be holy and without blame before Him in love,
having predestined us to adoption as sons by Jesus Christ to Himself,
according to the good pleasure of His will, to the praise and the glory of
His grace, by which He made us accepted in the Beloved (Eph. 1:4-6).
The previous season I had worked more than I got
paid for because of the contract I had made with Dad, so the contract
needed to be adjusted. As I took the matter before the Lord, He directed
me not to ask for any more money but to redeem my time. I submitted a
proposal to my dad that would not cost him any more money if his company
adhered to schedules and did not use any after hours time. This sent him
through the roof and revealed what he really thought about me. Dad
challenged my integrity, and, for the first time in my life, I was able to
defend myself in a proper, godly way. I did not accept all the negative
things he said about me and instead replaced them with thoughts that God
gave me about who I am. A week later the business relationship was
officially severed when Dad actually fired me. Financially, it cost me
almost half my yearly income. Spiritually, I gained peace that I had never
experienced before.
Dad continued to weaken from his treatments. He
desired that all of his children get together for Christmas and invited me
to come to Texas where he lived. I knew in my heart it wasn’t the right
time for me to go and declined the invitation to spend time with my own
family. This was a significant choice to put my own immediate family
before my dad. A week into January I received word that Dad was losing
weight more quickly and could not have any more treatments. It was time
for me to see him.
Dad had been having trouble thinking clearly, but
when I got there his thoughts were clear. As soon as I walked in, Dad
commented on how there seemed to be something different about me.
The next day we had some time to spend together
alone. I asked the Holy Spirit what I was supposed to say, and He directed
me to ask my dad to forgive me for hurting him. Dad forgave me; he took my
hand, and we sat silently on his bed looking out onto the ocean.
Forgiveness is an amazing thing. In the moment Dad
and I forgave each other, all of our negative past meant nothing. I will
never forget holding his hand that day. Even though he was thin and weak,
I found great strength in holding his frail, strong hand.
God gave me this poem when I was returning home:
God heals us in many different ways.
He heals our past and promises a bright future.
He heals our mind and emotions.
He often heals our bodies.
But most of all He heals our relationships.
Only He can make them right.
God has led me on a journey—one I did not expect, did not want, or
think I needed.
Relationships themselves are a journey,
Sometimes smooth, sometimes bumpy,
Sometimes deep, sometimes shallow,
Sometimes warm, and sometimes cold,
Sometimes peaceful, and sometimes hostile.
But through each journey, God desires that they all reach back home to
their peaceful end in His loving arms.
Love, kindness, goodness, self-control, giving, receiving, listening
more, speaking less are the materials that make up the vessel for this
journey, with forgiveness as the rudder that helps us navigate through the
different obstacles on our way. Without forgiveness we would run aground.
For each of us the journey ends in different locations,
But God desires we all come to the same place—
Desiring a better relationship with Him and those He has placed with
us,
And ready for tomorrow’s next journey.
God showed me that this poem was concerning my
relationship with my dad and also my children.
The last time I called Dad was January 31, 2005. He
really wanted to talk. He was very serious, and his first question was
“Where am I?” (referring to his relationship with Father God). I told him
that I believed he had a relationship with the Lord. He agreed and said,
“It’s stupid that I haven’t spent more time with the Lord isn’t it?” I
told him that the goodness of God leads us to repentance (Rom. 2:4). We
continued to talk about the Lord, and it ended up being the best
conversation I had ever had with my dad.
Super Bowl Sunday I was awakened by the doorbell at
4:00 a.m. by my mother. My sister had been trying to call me and couldn’t
get through so she had called my mom. My dad wasn’t doing well and was
asking for me. I called my sister. Dad was having difficulty breathing,
and talking was nearly impossible. My sister held the phone to his ear,
and he said, “Hey baby, I love you. Goodbye.” He died a few minutes
later.
God fulfilled His promise to draw our hearts
together as Dad’s life here on earth was ending, and He is continuing to
do a deeper work of healing in my relationships with my own children.
Chris Wood owns
and operates Wood & Associates, a graphic design and photography business.
The
Goodness of God's Sovereignty
by Shari Tyson
My sister’s mother-in-law,
Clara, has made medical history. She has lived with multiple myeloma
longer than medical science thought possible. I have read of others who
have received wounds that should have been fatal, yet they live,
confounding everyone. Then, in contrast, we hear stories of death coming
by just the slightest complications or in the strangest ways. Where is the
rhyme or reason?
This question used to bring
such fear to me, until I truly came to know that God is sovereign. We are
responsible for our actions, but our times are in His hands. David said:
Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them (Ps. 139:16).
We hear the word “cancer,”
and—even with the breakthroughs of the day—fear strikes our hearts.
Suddenly length and quality of life are threatened...or are they? We hear
of school or workplace shootings, and the everyday routine of dropping the
children off or kissing our spouses goodbye is tinged with
apprehension...but should it be?
Unfortunately, we have been
conditioned to fear the worst because of a faulty understanding of who God
is, what He accomplished through Christ on the cross, and where we are
today as His people—the New Jerusalem, the Israel of God. The
Lord told us that His thoughts toward us are of peace and not of evil, to
give us a future and a hope. Our quality of life today depends upon our
understanding of tomorrow.
Clara is alive today because
she knows God determines her days, not disease. Her doctors have wondered
what is within her physical make-up that has allowed her to respond to the
various treatments when too many others do not. Oh, she has her difficult
times, to say the least, but her faith is in God’s sovereignty, not the
treatments.
When my children walk out my
door, my hope is in the covenantal protection of a loving Father, not the
security measures taken by a society motivated by fear.
And my tomorrow…God’s Word
tells me He has given me a future and a hope (Jer. 29:11).
We all need to ask ourselves
some basic questions: What colors my outlook for the day? What is my hope
for my future and the future of my children and grandchildren? Is it
determined by a diagnosis given by man or the “signs of the times”? It
should be determined by God’s thoughts and plans, because only then will I
walk at all times with the full expectation of wonderful and
exciting things. God is so good!
Shari Tyson leads the nursery ministry at
Abundant Life Covenant Church.
It
Is By Faith
By Michael Lawrence
Truth’s blessings are ours only when we act
upon it—even in the presence of doubt. To do so fully engages God on our
behalf.
Our back’s to the wall,
And there’s no place to cower.
All we can think of is, “Where is the power?” The desires of our hearts—
Are they heaven’s as well?
Is Jesus the same or will time only tell?
He is today, yesterday, and also forever.
Our heart’s in our throat, our lip starts to quiver.
If faith’s still the substance
Of what’s hoped for today,
When we see not, is faith leading astray?
Is it time that we lay down our
negative thinking
And let heaven know it’s on God we are banking?
If faith moves the Lord, will He grant us our wish?
To align with His will
Means we’re headed for bliss?
True faith leaves no spot for a pessimist’s shrinking,
And heaven cares not for his beg or plea thinking.
When we are tempted to groan with dismay
When we hear not, is faith leading astray?
Or can we depend upon our God?
Does He befriend us, give us His nod?
We have stepped in the water,
But have we touched the Father?
Can we thank Him today?
He has shown us the way.
It is by faith.
Today can we be sure that miracles
happen,
When long ago stories just leave us napping?
Are all of those witnesses up in the clouds
So eager to help us to give up our doubts?
We’ve knocked, yet the door
Has not yet been opened.
Though we ask, for an answer
We seem to be groping.
Now since we are seeking wholehearted each day,
Should we find not, was faith leading astray?
By ourselves in a corner, who’s
painted us in?
A game plan’s unfolding and to lose is to win.
Just when will we trust Him? He’s waiting to hear.
But then will He comfort, dry each of our tears?
He’s testing our patience and cannot be bothered?
Were promises made then now not to be honored?
Fate calls for our actions on this very day, And there’s no time to ask,
“Is faith leading astray?”
Can we depend upon our God?
Does He befriend us, give us His nod?
We have stepped in the water,
But have we touched the Father?
Can we thank Him today?
He has shown us the way.
It is by faith.
Michael Lawrence owns and operates
Lawrence Electric Company and is a freelance writer.
Pain
With Purpose
By Cassandra Walker
“Will you help Me feed My
children?” The Lord asked me this in church recently. He assured me that
the suffering that my husband and I are going through is necessary so
that we can help others. “Death to self produces life that you can feed
to My children.”
In a meeting with our pastor,
he talked to us about pain. Some of the circumstances we are going through
are painful. The Lord brought to my mind the word crucifixion. The
crucifixion was (is) painful, but the pain leads to death, and in Father’s
kingdom, death to self produces life.
Pain is not a bad thing. Pain
is good. Pain is not my enemy. When pain comes, I will not bristle at it
and resist it. I will go limp, yield to it, absorb it. Pain is my pathway
to feeding my Father’s children, which is the most important thing to me
in life. Without pain, I cannot help and partner with my Father in His
kingdom. Pain is my friend.
When I had my four wisdom teeth
pulled out without being placed unconscious, I decided ahead of time that
I was going to trust the dentist and just go limp and let him do what he
needed to do. During the procedure, I was numbed, but there were still
moments of extreme discomfort. He had to apply a lot of pressure. There
was a great deal of twisting, pulling, and yanking. The sound of it was
unnerving because it was right there in my head—the creaking, cracking,
popping. I didn’t want to slow him down in any way. When a moment of
extreme discomfort would come, I felt my muscles tighten as my body began
to resist the pain—so I would make my body relax and just let the pain
wash over me like a wave. This happened many times. I kept making my body
go limp and letting the pain have its way with me. That is how I got
through the procedure. As a result, the dentist was able to extract all
four teeth in a minimal amount of time, and I believe that it was actually
less uncomfortable pain-wise because I didn’t resist the pain.
As the Lord reminded me of my
experience at the dentist’s office, I thought about how we were going
through waves of pain. This is pain with purpose. God knows
the outcome. If I resist this pain, it will actually be more painful and
take longer. I’m going to yield to God and let this pain have its way with
me.
Recently—due to financial
stress and being uncomfortable in my duties in the business that my
husband and I run—my emotions have been low. To feel happy has been a
struggle. One day several weeks ago, I put my head on my desk and started
to cry, but before the tears could even fully form, the Holy Spirit spoke
gently into my spirit, “Now is not the time to hang your head and cry.” I
was beginning to feel sorry for myself. So, I stopped and saw that He was
right. For several weeks afterwards, I went into the other ditch trying to
shrug off the severity of my circumstances. Finally, my circumstances
ground me to a fine powder.
One evening I left the noise
and activity of my household and drove to my office. I pulled up, got out
in the rain, and didn’t even hurry. I didn’t care if the rain fell on me.
I went in, left the lights off, and watched the rain. I broke down.
Through my tears, I told Father God, “I’m not supposed to feel sorry for
myself.” I felt like He wanted me to let it out. I asked Him, “Why is this
happening? Why does this have to happen? I don’t understand.” I sat there
for quite a while, then stood up, gathered myself, finished my errand, and
went home.
Two days later, I was sitting
on my bed having my quiet time with the Lord. I was enjoying the sunlight
and listening to my favorite bird singing. I marveled at how optimistic
and happy I felt since I had been down so long. Then I told Father out
loud, “I wish I wasn’t a fair weather follower and could praise You when
it’s gray and nothing is going my way and when it’s sunny.”
I was surprised when He replied, “You do.” After I thought about it, I saw
what I think He wanted me to see. I might be down, but I still have
resolve that He is taking us somewhere good and we need to keep going.
The Lord spoke to me, “Eli Eli
lama sabachthani?” I turned in my Bible to see the translation: “My
God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” The Bible says Jesus was
without sin, yet even He had a moment when He asked the Father why. Luke
records that after He questioned the Father, He said, “Father, into
Your hands I commit My spirit,” and He died. His heart hadn’t turned
away from the Father because He asked why. He asked why because, as a man,
He was in pain.
When our children are in pain,
we want them to turn to us. Jesus turned to His Father when He was in
pain. I turned to my Father when I was in pain. I feel like Father wants
me to know that He understands that this is painful, and He is here with
us. He is encouraging me and telling me that I’m not weak or abnormal.
I want to go through this dying
process so that I can feed His children. We live in a nation with great
abundance, yet for all our physical wealth, there is a great famine for
spiritual food. Many of Father’s children are starving to death. I know I
am to go through the “crucifixion” process so that I can feed people the
life that is produced in me as a result. This is pain with purpose.
Cassandra Walker and her husband Gavin own
MedTech Medical Management Systems in Springfield, Missouri.
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